The Other Second City - This one has a building that looks like a tape measure

Wednesday, 6 February 2013 – Melbourne, Australia

Despite looking older and almost as populous as Sydney, slightly newer Melbourne gets no respect. It's not iconic. But the port is Australia's largest, carrying more than half of all cargo that this continent receives and ships. This is most remarkable considering that nearest other continent to Melbourne is Antarctica. The capital of the State of Victoria has more cultural institutions, a downtown that looks like a combination of European capitals and perhaps San Francisco, a number of old granite buildings and very modern skyscrapers (including a new one that looks like a tape measure), and old electric trams along with very modern underground and light rail networks. Architecturally, Flinders Station is a real gem, and Chinatown has archetypical noodle restaurants and dim sum places.

Near Melbourne are a number of private wildlife sanctuaries and national parks. We booked a 5 hour tour, "Kangaroos & Koalas in the Wild", to see the native critters. We were bused about 45 minutes on a limited access freeway to the Serendip Sanctuary, actually an almost 600 acre kangaroo paddock. Naturally we saw a pouchload of these kind of shy creatures as we were led up and down alleyways formed by tress by the Crocodile Dundee channeling tour guide. He was adequate as a guide but a bit burned out in his presentation, feeling the need to explain the "odd sexual characteristics" of the animals in each of the two parks and feeling the need to translate Waltzing Matilda. Some of us were a bit offended by both additions to his commentary. Some found it a highlight of the day.

By the end of the hour (or maybe it was 4 or 5 hours) of walking in 95 degree heat and seeing more and more and more again of the marsupials at Sarendip, I found that for my first time on Silversea Cruises that it was necessary upon returning later to the ship to advise our butler that our shoes had to be thoroughly cleaned of kangaroo poop.  But we also saw lots of emu's and a number of strange looking (even to themselves) birds and lots of ominous looking gigantic ants. (No picture as they look like ants, only bigger).

After the traditional waiting for the replacement bus that actually could be started and the equally traditional transfer to the "correct bus" to replace the replacement, we headed to You Yang National Park. (In case you were wondering, the first replacement bus was comfortable and had excellent air conditioning in the now 100 degree heat. This is unacceptable in the rules of tour operators. So the tour operator needed to have us move our recently moved stuff to an new but old bus, one without operating a/c, also an old tradition in no tipping Australia I believe.)

The You Yang is an eroded granite lump which sticks up about 500 feet from the very flat coastal plains of southern Victoria. The aboriginals named this hill as it means, "Funny name to amuse tourists." The purpose for the stop here was to spot (or was it the other way around) koala's in the trees. This might have been a difficult task had it not been for the colleagues of Mr. Dundee who continuously texted the driver of our now very hot and unpleasant smelling bus (see note about butler's task, above) the GPS coordinates of the "wild" creatures. Guess what, we saw two (2) koala's immediately. A mother who didn't move for the half hour our fellow guests were taking videos of it and a joey (Australian talk for anything little or something like that) who seemed very agitated but oh so cute. We then get back in the hot, smelly, and did I mention noisy, bus only to drive about ½ mile to get out again to photograph a number of really strange looking owls who we were told by Mr. Crocodile were not really owls after the some scientists decided that they were "different".

We then returned to our hot, smelly, noisy, and now very dusty (don't ask) bus for the hour long drive to downtown Melbourne. Mr. Waltzing Matilda advised us that he was given "special permission" to drop off those guests who wanted to spend the remaining part of the afternoon in the CBD (whatever that is). Apparently, this permission had to be requested by the ship and approved by the highest authority, someone called, "Swagman" or something like that. The ship somehow did not provide the advertising materials promised shuttle bus* but instead gave out an information sheet on all the complicated ways to pay for a taxi or public transport—a nifty light rail line "only 500 meters" in now 105 degree heat—from the entrance to the port. Don't ask about how long the walk from Silver Whisper to the entrance of the port was.

Barbara and I ran like thieves upon being let out of the now oddly familiar bus the couple of blocks to the very busy Chinatown and immediately found a hole in the wall noodle shop. We wolfed down roast duck and pork rice bowls. The five table place had staff screaming in Chinese to each other, as delivery of take away plastic spoons got uncrated next to us, and we were served and settle up ($19 total for the both of us) in record time. No one put a napkin in our laps, rearranged the silverware multiple times while we were eating—only chopsticks were provided in this kind of place of course—and best of all no one kept asking us about how we were enjoying our meal, if we needed more of anything, asked what kind of water we wanted (repeatedly), or tried to force more wine on us. Our only complaint at this place.

We then wondered a bit more around the Central Business District, found a free Wifi location in front of a cathedral (SSID: "Victoria Corrections"), took in the iconic Flinders Street Station (ok, one icon), then rode the free non-a/c downtown tourist loop tram, and took the very air conditioned light rail back to the ship. We stayed up to 11 pm to watch the sail out. Truly a super but exhausting day.

 

*I asked the Tour Desk Manager, Mark, about the lack of a ship's shuttle. He told me that the "local authority", a Mr. Billibong, had forced local transport on the ship and that there was nothing he could do but "really wanted to". I suggested that the ship might have provided free light rail tickets for those guests who wanted to go into town. Mark said "Oh." Barbara and I now have Melbourne "MyKi" cards worth $6 AUS each to add to our collection of smart transit cards at home.